Archive for December, 2005

Intimate Medicare

Tuesday, December 6th, 2005

Phone_Sex

Drugs are not the only cure for pain… so is pleasure:

Seniors calling a phone number for answers about the new Medicare prescription drug program reached a phone sex line by mistake.

The Medicare program, criticized by some as confusing, will likely be more confusing to Iowans and others who received a letter from Humana Inc. with an incorrect phone number.

I can just imagine what sort of conversations must have transpired when the poor elders called the phone sex line…

Phone sex operator: “Intimate Encounters, hello?”

Feeble old man: “uhh… hello?”

Phone sex operator: “Hey there tiger, what can I do for you?”

Feeble old man: “uhh… hold on a moment, I’m just going to turn up my hearing aid. I thought I just heard you call me tiger!” [Chuckles]

Phone sex operator: “I did call you tiger…”

Feeble old man: [Turns up hearing aid] “Ahh, there we go.”

Phone sex operator: “So, what can I do for you tonight, handsome?”

Feeble old man: “Oh, yes, I would like to order some medicine please…”

Phone sex operator: “Oooo, someone wants to play patient and nurse! Well, in that case… I’m standing by your bedside preparing your medicine wearing a tiny little white nurse’s outfit that shows off my large plump breasts and sexy little white nurse’s hat pinned to my long lucious hair. I drop the cap of your medicine bottle on the floor and bend over to pick it up. As I bend over you notice that I’m not wearing any panties and you can see every last inch of pink on my body…”

Feeble old man: “Eek… awk… ahh… …” [Dies of heart attack and is found dead with a smile and a hard on]

Sure it’s bad for the drug companies, but hey, we’re all gonna die someday… might as well die pleased!

Triple Ex-Domain

Friday, December 2nd, 2005

xxx

Well, it’s I’ve been pretty busy sticking address labels on calendars all day to send them as Christmas presents to diplomats… but finally I have some time to blog!

Last night when I was editing Kitkast #1.8, my friend James sent me a link to a story reporting that “The proposed .xxx porn domain has been kicked into the long grass just days before it was due to meet final approval.“.

This is amazing news, but I highly doubt we have heard the end of it. The domain may have been put on the back burner, but it’s bound to come up again in some form or another since most governments of the world wanted to implement it.

So… don’t be surprised if you see me blog about the topic again… we’re bound to run into more porn barricades in the future.

Related posts:
Porn domain on pause again… (9/16/2005)
Thank Zod It’s Friday! (9/2/2005)

Let’s Sleep Together…

Thursday, December 1st, 2005

Sleep Sex

This story brings new meaning to the expression “sleep together”:

The woman who cannot be named, met 33-year-old Jan Luedecke, a landscaper, at a party in July 2003, where both had been drinking. She fell asleep on a couch and awoke to find Luedecke having sex with her. She pushed him off, and then called police.

Luedecke says he fell asleep on the same couch, and only woke up when he was thrown to the floor. The accused told the court he only suspected he had sex when he went to the bathroom and discovered he was wearing a condom.

During the trial, a sleep expert testified Luedecke had a condition called parasomnia, a disorder which includes symptoms like sleep walking. Dr. Colin Shapiro explained that during the incident Luedecke experienced sexsomnia, which is sexual behaviour during sleep. Luedecke’s sexsomnia was brought on by alcohol, genetics, and sleep deprivation, Shapiro said.

The court was told that Luedecke previously had sex while asleep with four girlfriends. He has since cut down on his drinking, and is taking medication to prevent a repeat of the incident.

Now, I’ve heard of Insomnia. I’ve heard of Nymphomania. But this is the first time I’ve ever heard of Sexsomnia. Acknowledgement by the court of this rare condition will acknowledge it from a legal standpoint. Perhaps Luedecke really is affected by this condition, but I have no doubt that many authentic rapists will try and use this as an excuse in the future.

Women’s groups are now concerned about the implications of this new condition as a legally binding excuse for sexual misconduct, but what about women suffering from the same condition? It seems like sexual assault groups are only interested in protecting women from unwanted sexual advances.

The BBC wrote an interesting article about sleep sex last year. Send me your thoughts on the condition and its legal implications.