Intimate Medicare
Drugs are not the only cure for pain… so is pleasure:
Seniors calling a phone number for answers about the new Medicare prescription drug program reached a phone sex line by mistake.
The Medicare program, criticized by some as confusing, will likely be more confusing to Iowans and others who received a letter from Humana Inc. with an incorrect phone number.
I can just imagine what sort of conversations must have transpired when the poor elders called the phone sex line…
Feeble old man: “uhh… hello?”
Phone sex operator: “Hey there tiger, what can I do for you?”
Feeble old man: “uhh… hold on a moment, I’m just going to turn up my hearing aid. I thought I just heard you call me tiger!” [Chuckles]
Phone sex operator: “I did call you tiger…”
Feeble old man: [Turns up hearing aid] “Ahh, there we go.”
Phone sex operator: “So, what can I do for you tonight, handsome?”
Feeble old man: “Oh, yes, I would like to order some medicine please…”
Phone sex operator: “Oooo, someone wants to play patient and nurse! Well, in that case… I’m standing by your bedside preparing your medicine wearing a tiny little white nurse’s outfit that shows off my large plump breasts and sexy little white nurse’s hat pinned to my long lucious hair. I drop the cap of your medicine bottle on the floor and bend over to pick it up. As I bend over you notice that I’m not wearing any panties and you can see every last inch of pink on my body…”
Feeble old man: “Eek… awk… ahh… …” [Dies of heart attack and is found dead with a smile and a hard on]
Sure it’s bad for the drug companies, but hey, we’re all gonna die someday… might as well die pleased!
December 6th, 2005 at 4:30 pm
I agree… might as well die in a good mood.
Mind you, it’s gonna be tough closing the casket for some…
December 6th, 2005 at 5:14 pm
As much as I like your interpretation of the situation, they most likely just got the dispatcher. . .
December 6th, 2005 at 9:15 pm
Thanks Ellie… you’re right, but I liked my interpretation better…