Club Review: Wanda’s (Montreal)
Background
After a horrible night of raunchy strippers at Château du Sexe last month, I ran into Wanda’s to ask if they do lap dancing. The bouncer said that they only do table dancing but he suggested I go to Club Downtown for good lap dancing. Last night Zod and I went out for a nice dinner at a Japanese restaurant and then decided to stop in at Wanda’s to see what it was like.
Girls
Outside the club there is a sign that says “Home of the Goddesses”. The girls at Wanda’s were not always Goddesses… some were beautiful, others were skanky.
It was interesting to see how the dancers were organized; the DJ sent them to the stage one by one with an emphasis on racial diversity. The first dancer we saw was a beautiful blonde model, the next was a black Caribbean francophone, the next was a Latina and the last was a Caucasian brunette. This was a very smart idea… a woman for every taste.
The women themselves were okay… not perfect (but who is?). One of the things that peeved me about this club, though, was that the women were supposed to approach the customers, but (as usual in these homophobic Montreal strip clubs) they avoided Zod and I like the plague. In fact, I wanted to get a table dance from Chanel (the blonde model), but she never walked by to offer herself. We eventually got in trouble with a waitress because we didn’t order a second drink (more on that story to follow…)!
Stage Dancing
As most Montreal strip clubs, the stage dancing was pretty poor. The stage setup itself didn’t help, though, because it only had one pole and it seemed that the pole was only used as a lever to help the girls get up and off the stage. How sad.
The big problem with Wanda’s is that the stage dancing is very slow paced. While some clubs send girls up to dance for one or two songs, Wanda’s sends the girls up to dance for two songs (clothed) and then after a song with no one on stage, the same girl comes back to do a third dance (partial-full nudity). This is not a club for people with ADD…
Just when the girl FINALLY gets naked at the end of her third dance, she pulls her dress back up! It is rare to see the girls actually dance in the nude. I asked the waitress to see whether this is normal practice on busier nights (we went on a Sunday) and she said yes… *yawn*.
Lap Dancing
I had heard that at Wanda’s they don’t do any lap dances… < sarcasm > Wanda’s is a Gentlemen’s club… < /sarcasm >. Well, I bought a ‘table’ dance from Chanel and wasn’t expecting much, but what I got was heaven.
When I bought my ‘table’ dance, Chanel brought Zod and I to a more private location in the club and we had a nice chat… Chanel is a model who has recently moved back to Montreal from New York to study to be a Homicide Detective and it turns out that we went to the same high school at one point. After chatting for a few songs, she started her dance and I was shocked to see that what I got was the quality of a Montreal Lap Dance (ie. not very grindy, but still a lap dance by Montreal standards). I had originally planned on getting a dance for 2 songs (max), but I was easily swayed into getting a third. Chanel was beautiful and captivating and I held back from kissing her breasts, biting her ass and stroking her nipples…
After leaving the club I felt like I had just left a spa… it was as if I had just received an hour long massage.
Club Ambiance
We went to this club on a Sunday night and there were less than 20 customers in the club. There was no cover charge but Zod passed the bouncer a $20 bill and we were seated right in front of the stage, as usual. We ordered a couple of drinks from one waitress and then we were approached by two other waitresses asking us to order something. We only wanted to have the one drink before choosing a girl for a table dance, so we didn’t order a second drink.
Since the girls were not approaching us, we got in trouble when a third waitress came up to us and said “order a drink or leave” (I guess she hadn’t spoken to the second waitress who knew that I was there to review the club… thank goodness, my readers get to see the real Wanda’s). I then explained that we wanted a table dance from one of the girls but that she was occupied at the moment… this is why we hadn’t purchased a second drink. The girl then went to hunt down our girl and we went off to get our private dance. Just before our dance, the third waitress (bitch) came up to ask AGAIN if we wanted a drink… God…
This was probably the most unwelcoming club I’ve ever been to… If it weren’t for the charm of Chanel, I wouldn’t go back!
The club decor was nothing special, in fact, the floor on the stage was completely warn out around the pole (funny… I hardly saw any pole dancing!). The best feature is that the seats are relatively comfortable.
Zod commented that he liked the music in this place, but I found it a little too stereotypical. The Caribbean girl danced to French Caribbean music, the Latina danced to Latin music, etc. The best music was actually played when the stage was empty. The clientele of the club was very diverse… a couple of young American tourists, a group of young Asian friends, a few old men sitting at the bar and a middle-aged Japanese man in the corner.
Payment/Pricing
Admission to the club was free, but Zod slipped the bouncer a $20 bill to get us a seat right in front of the stage.
The price of drinks was awful… a Coke cost $7.50 (not including your tip!).
Lap ‘Table’ dances cost $8/song.
Review (out of 5 stars):
Girls (physical beauty): 4 stars
Girls (stage dance skills): 3 stars
Girls (table dance skills): 4.5 stars
Club ambiance: 2 stars