Private Kitka: Soldier of the Orgasm Army
Well, ladies and gentlemen… after reading this article from TheRegister.co.uk, I have gone and joined the Army… The Orgasm Army, that is:
First it was flogging the backless thong, then a search for seasoned w*nkers, now online sex toy outfit LoveHoney has successfully found its way onto El Reg for the third time with its new initiative - the Orgasm Army.
Yes, we know we shouldn’t be giving LoveHoney any more exposure, but its PR stunts have a kind of irresistible silliness about them which makes a pleasant change from blade servers, 24 meg broadband and VoIP.
The latest piece of tomfoolery involves recruiting the aforementioned Orgasm Army - an initiative looking to “build the UK’s biggest library of sex toy reviews so girls and guys can find out which vibrators, condoms and lubes are the best a man and woman can get”.
As the blurb puts it:
Will you put your orgasms on the line for Queen and country? Then the LoveHoney Orgasm Army wants you! Enlist today and you could get free sex toys in return for sharing your sex toy experiences on the Orgasm Army Web site.
In order to enlist into the Orgasm Army, I had to fill out a form with my name, contact details and a sex toy review. Since my most interesting story comes from simple condoms, I submitted the following review:
What sort of product is it? Condoms
Your review or experience: It is often difficult to open condom packaging and find the right way to roll it on in the heat of the moment. However, LifeStyles Discs make condom application so easy. Instead of the traditional flat square packet, LifeStyles Discs are packaged in tiny plastic tubs that allow you to open the lid like a pack of pudding. The benefit of this is that you will no longer struggle to open the package and the condom will always come out the right way up for easy application.
My boyfriend and I love LifeStyles Discs so much that a couple of months ago we couldn’t find the product in any of our local pharmacies and we started panicking and rationing as if it were the great depression. The day we found a store stocked with these condoms, I bought all 6 boxes. A few days later, I bought out another store.
LifeStyles Discs are widely available at Pharmacies across Canada.
For product information on LifeStyles Discs (Extra Sensitive Lubricated) visit:
http://lifestyles.com/canada/eng/discs_extra.htm
So, I guess if I pass the ‘physical’… I’ll become part of the most earth-shattering army of all time (and no, I’m not talking about the American military again). The Orgasm Army shall prevail!
Long live the wankers!
October 6th, 2005 at 5:01 pm
I’ll have to give them a shot. Otherwise, I’m quite fond of Trojan Ultras or Beyond 7
October 6th, 2005 at 5:27 pm
BARRY! I’ve missed you… glad to hear from you. You’ll have to give them a shot, but I’m not sure if they’re available in the US.
October 7th, 2005 at 8:57 pm
hey there! thanks for responding to my post! Yes I took that pic with a camrea… a film camera at that.
October 8th, 2005 at 10:23 am
Hello Kitka!
Thanks for visiting my site and leaving such lovely comments!
Yes, I will be back to posting my artwork again soon…very soon I hope!
Love your site! Stay in touch!
October 8th, 2005 at 1:09 pm
Oh!……forgot to mention…….you are quite gorgeous my dear!