MsKitka.com

Today I went into Leather & Lace on Drummond Street and had a look around. It was not the first time I’d been in the shop, I went there about 8 years ago with a friend of mine. At that time I found the shop to be a little dark and dingy looking, but I was pleasantly surprised to see a brighter looking shop today.

When I walked in I was greeted by a friendly man named Sinclair (or Sinkie) who told me that if I needed any help to just let him know. I ended up striking up a conversation with him after I noticed pap smear equipment on sale in a glass case and cringed at the painful memories. He told me that the shop used to have cloth on the ceiling, but they recently took it down and got a new ceiling, so this is why the store looked so different.

The store itself looks quite small at first, but if you take a trip downstairs to the DVD/Video/Magazine shop, you will see just how huge this place really is. The best thing about the shop is that everything is displayed very clearly. At the sex shop that Zod and I frequent in Montreal the DVDs are displayed like books (the covers are not clearly seen), but in this shop each title and cover is facing the customer (quite similar to a rental shop). I like this type of display because unlike books… you usually can judge a DVD by its cover!

There was a good selection of sex toys… my personal favorites were the Venus Penis, The Oyster and the soft threaded bondage ropes. If I was a sex toy reviewer, I would definitely be interested in reviewing the Venus Penis…

Leather & Lace has three locations in Edinburgh and offer a wide variety of products to satisfy your sexual needs. Besides, the Drummond Street branch, Leather & Lace also have branches on Easter Road (in Leith) and Gorgie Road (in Gorgie). The Gorgie branch, however, sells fantasy lingerie but no sex toys due to location restrictions. They do have a web site, but do not sell their products online.

Live from the War on Porn

Hello, everyone. This is War on Pornography Correspondent Mr. Penis, here on the front-lines. Just yesterday the Bush Administration sprayed the first (no-cum-)shots all over the Suicide Girls.

Xeni Jardin:
Boing Boing reader Chuck says,

Apparently, [U.S. Attorney General] Gonzalez’s War on Porn has affected one of your sponsers. SuicideGirls.com has started taking down ‘questionable’ pictures and sets that they think the FBI would have a problem with. Bambi’s Bathroom Beauty set is one good example of this. So much for freedom of speech.

BB Reader Jeff Fries seconds that emotion, and says:

SuicideGirls admin Olivia started pulling photosets that the new FBI porn crackdown team has deemed offensive. Since, as you know, SG has always been as artistic as it has been pornographic, it’s doubly egregious. This is a stupid crock of shit that has made everyone mad. Link.

Now, it seems the Bush Administration and I share a common policy; sticking it to women. But when it’s the Suicide Girls that are being stuck, and I ain’t doing the sticking, well, I get large with angry … and you wouldn’t want to see me when I’m angry!

ANGRY PENIS SMASH!

To help with the smashing follow Olivia’s advice:

If you want to help stop this stupidity, feel free join SG in donating to the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) and the Free Speech Coalition. If you live in the US, you can also send a letter to your representative in Congress.

This is Mr. Penis, doing what I do best; sticking it to Bush.

[Via Boing Boing]

Background

After spending some time at Big Daddy O’s Showbar on Lothian Road, the night was still young. As I was leaving the club, I spoke to the friendly bouncer about Edinburgh strip clubs and one of the clubs he suggested I visit was Fantasy Palace on Shandwick Place. I had heard from one of the dancers at Big Daddy O’s that Fantasy Palace had a cage around the strip pole and I was quite curious to see what the place was like.

Girls

When I first walked into the club I was quite pleased to see the number of girls working on a Sunday night as well as the quality of the girls. These girls were the cream of the crop, nice bodies, nice hair, nice outfits and nice makeup. After getting a drink and sitting down by the caged-off stage, I quickly realized the lack of interest in approaching female customers. After sitting in my modern and very uncomfortable chair for over twenty minutes without any attention from the dancers, I finally went up to the bar to ask whether the dancers actually do lap dances for other women. Right away I was approached by Amber, a tall slim girl with short cropped hair and gorgeous dangly earrings. Immediately, Amber volunteered to either give me a lap dance or provide me with a live lesbian show. The night brightened up as soon as Amber stepped into it.

Stage Dancing

The stage dancing was actually very good. The stage itself was small, circular, highly elevated and caged off with decorative bars. As a result, the pole dancing was quite interesting… especially when the girls used the cage as a prop.

Unfortunately, since it’s a Sunday night the girls didn’t seem to feel the need to pole dance. I only saw two performances in total and didn’t like the ambiance enough to stick around and wait until someone else decided to get their butt on stage to entertain the patrons!

Lap Dancing

The lap dance I got from Amber at Fantasy Palace was brilliant. I was glad to know that she liked both women and men, and she had the moves to prove it. Compared to the dance I had last week at Chateau du Sexe, this was heaven! Amber started her dance gently at first, but once she discovered that I liked it close and intense, the dance got better and better. She pushed as many buttons as she could during the one dance… blowing in my ear, bringing her breasts close up to my face and grinding against my pussy with her naked ass.

After the dance I wanted to buy another dance from another girl at the club in order to properly assess the overall technique, but I was sadly disappointed to find that the other girls wouldn’t perform a lap dance on another woman. One of the girls actually does a lesbian show on a regular basis, but refused to give me a lap dance because she didn’t feel comfortable about it… hmm…

Club Ambiance

This club could have scored phenomenal points for ambiance if I was a man. The men at Fantasy Palace were very well taken care of. While there was approximately 10 girls working that night, there were only a handful of men at the club. A few of the girls working at the club stayed at the men’s table entertaining them. Unfortunately for me, though, the rest of the ladies at the club all sat together gossiping. It was as if I didn’t exist… and I started to feel like a pervert at the club even though I was there with good intentions. Once I approached the bar staff with my sentiments, however, I was well taken care of for the rest of my stay.

The club decor was amazing. Unfortunately, the chairs aren’t as comfortable as they are modern! I can understand why some dancers may not like the bars that covered the stage (I know I would be paranoid of hitting my head of getting my legs caught), but it was quite an interesting addition to the club’s design. The lap dance area was very nice, but I was happy that it was quiet. Since the couches are placed to face each other, I can imagine the lack of privacy one would get on a busy night for his/her ‘private’ dance.

The music at the club was great… they actually had a DJ working on a Sunday night and he played a lot of fun old remixed disco and current pop hits.

Payment/Pricing

There was a £10 cover charge at the door… a completely unreasonable amout, especially since the girls were hardly dancing. Considering the fact that a lap dance was also £10, a customer should have received more attention or entertainment for the price of admission.

Lesbian shows are performed in the lap dancing area for £40.

Similar to Big Daddy O’s, drinks at the club were very reasonably priced… one glass of Coca-Cola cost £2.

Review (out of 5 stars):

Girls (physical beauty): 4 stars

Girls (stage dance skills): 4 stars

Girls (lap dance skills): 4 stars

Club ambiance: 3.5 stars

Background

I had originally decided to go to a club called Bottom’s Up on Lothian Road, but when I got to the door the bouncer wouldn’t admit me to the club because I was female… he put his arm up to restrict access to the door and in a deep Scottish accent said “Sorry dear, this is a gentlemen’s club!” Taken aback, I asked him whether all strip clubs in Edinburgh turned away female customers or whether it was just this club. He told me that he has seen women go to Big Daddy O’s before, so perhaps I could give it a try.

Girls

The first rule of reviewing strip clubs should be to go to the club on a busy night. Unfortunately, since I’m only in town for about five days, I don’t have the liberty to go to the clubs on the weekend. As a result, I have to write this review after going to the club on a Sunday night.

I arrived a little earlier than the regular crowd, so I only saw a couple of girls dressed and ready to dance on the stage. The girls I saw dance were not the best looking or the most fit, but I was very pleased by how friendly and easy to talk to they were. One of the girls sat down and chatted with me for quite a while about the strip club scene in Edinburgh and about the problems that this sort of business is starting to face with licensing. I really enjoyed our chat, she really put me at ease… especially since it was the first time I’d actually been in a strip club alone!

Stage Dancing

The stage dancing was quite standard; the girl I was chatting to looked much better when she was dancing… her slightly voluptuous curves looked more fit when she was flying around the pole.

Since it’s a Sunday, there was not a lot of stage dancing. The girls would dance on stage only every 15 minutes. The only critique I have regarding to the strip dancing is that it is a little restrictive due to the small circular stage and single pole… it must be difficult for the girls to perform on such a small pallette. Most clubs in Montreal have a larger stage to work with, but it seemed like the Big Daddy O’s stage was just too small to do a variety of non-pole dancing moves. I can’t imagine how tiring it must be to use the pole as much as these dancers do, but if they can hack it… no problem.

Lap Dancing

I chose to get my traditional club review lap dance from the friendly girl that came up to chat with me at the club. Just as she looked great on stage, she also looked great while giving me a private lap dance.

The lap dances at Big Daddy O’s are done on a dark curtained-off area at the front of the club. The lap dancing area is equipped with some nice comfortable black sofas and I was asked to keep my hands at my side (which is a command that goes just fine with my bondage fetish). The dance itself was pretty good… it was a breath of fresh air after the lap dance I had at Chateau du Sexe last week. The girl danced in front of me on the floor, across from me on another couch and thankfully right on my lap. The dance was not as intense as I would like it, but definitely had quite a lot more contact than the club last week in Montreal.

Club Ambiance

This club has scored excellent points for ambiance. When I first told the bouncer that I was there to review the club, he introduced me to the barman and the barman showed interest in my review and helped answer any questions I had about the club and other clubs in Edinburgh. After buying a Coke and sitting at a very comfortable seat by the stage, I was later approached by a very friendly employee who understood the most important rule of strip club thumb… When a woman goes into a strip club and sits right in front of the stage, she is there for the same reason as a man.

The club decor was really nice… it almost looked like an old refurbished saloon, painted with dark fushias and draping curtains of of black and red. The strip club also had the feel of an old pub, so it was quite a relaxed atmostphere.

The music at the club was also very inviting. The barman acted as DJ on this quiet Sunday night and he chose some really good tunes. This was yet another breath of fresh air since the past few strip clubs I’ve been to have played the same generic R&B/Hip Hop hits.

Payment/Pricing

There was a reasonable £5 cover charge at the door and I didn’t have to worry about tipping any bouncers to get the best seat in the house.

Surprisinly, drinks at the club are set at a regular price for a bar… there didn’t seem to be any strip club drink mark-up that I usually find in North American strip clubs… one glass of Coca-Cola cost less than £2.

Review (out of 5 stars):

Girls (physical beauty): 2.5 stars

Girls (stage dance skills): 3.5 stars

Girls (lap dance skills): 3.5 stars

Club ambiance: 4 stars

Ladies and Gentlemen, Sluts and Slags… I have the honour to introduce Mr. Penis, the brand new guest blogger at MsKitka.com. While I’m in Scotland doing research on local strip clubs and sex shops, Penis will be providing you with only the finest content to feed your hunger for sex news and witty critiques. Penis will also be co-starring as the new field correspondent on my new video-podcast (cumming in early October 2005) by conducting interviews and taking MsKitka.com to the street.

Please feel free to leave me feedback on Penis’ performance, I shall be watching closely to make sure that he doesn’t cock-up.