MsKitka.com

So, the big gossip on the Internet these days is that famous people are considering acting in porn films. The operative word here is gossip.

This past week, online news agencies have been going crazy over the idea that Mike Tyson may star in an upcoming porn film with famous porn star Jenna Jameson. The first wave of reports coming out said that Jameson and Tyson are in talks to make a porn film together since Tyson is running low on cash. The second wave of reports came out from Jenna Jameson herself stating that her girls are eager to jump to the opportunity to film scenes with the infamous ear-biter. Today, however, Tyson himself has spoke out about the rumors. Mike Tyson has now publicly denied the rumors that he will star in a Jenna Jameson porn flick. Although he is working on an acting career, Tyson has insisted that none of those films will be X-rated. The same has yet to be determined for the Oscar de la Hoya rumors.

Another hot topic this week is with regard to a comment made by Johnny Depp in his interview with Gala magazine:

“…I don’t want to become typecast as an eccentric.”

“Maybe next time I should do something totally different and film a cracking porn with Tim (Burton). That would really send my popularity down to the depths.”

So, now that Johnny Depp has made (what seems to me to be) a very sarcastic joke, the whole world is buzzing about it as if it is the truth. The truth is… the idea is a wonderful one, in theory. Burton is one of the most ingenious and original directors of our time and would probably make a delicious S&M, goth or fetish director. In fact, why not go ahead and include the rumored Planet of the Apes love scene that was cut from the theatrical release into the porn film? Or, better yet, perhaps the porn film could be a musical and they could use claymation instead of porn stars… Ahh, the possibilities in a Tim Burton porn film are endless! But, dream on people.

If only more people would insist on using fake HTML tags in order to outline sarcasm in articles and interviews. Spread the word people… please use and when being sarcastic. Sarcasm doesn’t usually come across very easily in writing. Then again, perhaps the Germans interviewing Depp didn’t realize that he was being sarcastic… sarcasm doesn’t tend to translate very well (trust me, I work for the Japanese!).

In other news, it turns out that John Roberts worked a whole twelve hours on a case for Playboy Enterprises… it’s not much, but it’s enough for me to proclaim that: I’m Ms. Kitka and I approve of John Roberts .

Remember when I foresaw the taxing of Internet pornography two months ago after the sneaky introduction of the $60/year .xxx “virtual red light district”? Well, it looks like it might just become a reality:

“Senator Tom Carper is calling for a tax on all Internet pornography. The Delaware Democrat is proposing a 25 percent tax on the purchase of pornographic material online. The collected tax money would go to a fund to help police prosecute online child pornographers. The provision is part of the Internet Safety and Child Protection Act. In addition to the fund, the bill would require online pornographers to use age-verification software to block children’s access. Carper says the bill will keep kids away from X-rated material.”

So, basically… on top of the amount of tax you already have to pay (%15 in my native province of Quebec, Canada), you will have to pay an extra %25 to purchase it over the Internet. That means that if I wanted to buy a $20 porn film, it will end up costing me $28 over the Internet (not including shipping and handling charges)!!! Are you angry yet? You should be.

The reasoning for the tax seems as sweet as sugar, but the series of events leading up to it (i.e. the new, more expensive and segregated .xxx domains) makes me think otherwise. Although they don’t tell us, I believe the true intent behind the tax is to work on decreasing and possibly even abolishing pornography and the sex industry (remember my post about Sin Tax?). Fundie tax logic is terribly simple minded; morally bad things like churches pornography should be heavily taxed while morally good things like pornography churches should be tax free. Gees, I’m surprised the born-again ‘Christian’ government hasn’t started taxing mosques!

Oh well, a sarcastic thanks goes to the ever-classy Mary Carey and her boss for reminding that born-again ‘Christian’ government what a big industry (and untapped tax resource) that pornography is. After taxing strip clubs and brothels the government definitely needed to find some other morally sound evil industry to tax in order to fund the money pit war in Iraq and help to repay the ever-increasing national debt. Oh well, “Give Caesar what belongs to Caesar”… and all that crap.