MsKitka.com

King of Swaziland has abandoned his attempt to halt the spread of AIDS in his country after his own form of abstinence-only teenage programs proved to be a failure.  Instead of silver rings, teenage Swazi girls were made to wear large woolen tassels around their necks to signify their virginity.  Anytime a man violates one of these maidens, his family is fined a cow.  The king was forced to pay the fine last year after taking a 17-year-old girl as his ninth wife.  The news comes just in time for the annual reed dance (two-day dance of bare-breasted girls for the king) where he is expected to take a new bride.

A new television drama on the life of Queen Elizabeth II’s younger sister Princess Margaret depicts the royal as a major party girl.  The documentary, entitled “The Queen’s Sister”, shows the princess making out with another woman, taking drugs and zipping down a man’s trousers to give him fellatio.  Paris Hilton doesn’t sound so original after this, does she?  Gees… leave it to Channel 4 to make such a controversial show!

Speaking of the royals; royal pain in the ass pop-princess Britney Spears has announced that she has mastered the art of oral sex.  After reading Sex in the City star Kim Cattrall’s sex manual Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm, the eight-month pregnant pop tart has apparently perfected the art on her equally white trash husband.  I have to admit, before reading this article I was actually interested in reading Cattrall’s book, but now I think I’ll pass… I’m just so sick of Britney and her dumb sex stories about her and husband Kevin Federline.  Wouldn’t life be nice if Britney just stopped talking?  She’s like a little chatterbox dying for attention…