MsKitka.com

Well, the bad news is that I won’t be blogging for the next few days since I’ll be working at the Canadian National Expo 2005 in Toronto this weekend as a volunteer personal assistant to Kevin Sorbo and Adam Baldwin.  Wait… I’m sorry… did I just say that was bad news?  My mistake…

The other good news is that I will be leaving MSN Spaces within the next month to start a more legitimate blog and to start building my empire.  The empire will be located at www.mskitka.com and in addition to a blog, I plan to host a video podcast, post desktop wallpapers and open a t-shirt store on cafepress.com… I’m going all out, folks.

Don’t worry, sex fiends… I’ll let you know when the new site is ready.  Ms. Kitka doesn’t forget about her friends with benefits.

Well, I may have bought my boyfriend Zod scurvy boxer shorts as a treat, but this guy is a real panty pirate:

A man who raided bedrooms and washing lines on the remote Isles of Scilly to amass a collection of women’s underwear has been banned from the islands for seven years.  Andrew Stephan, 42, was also barred from entering a house without invitation for seven years and ordered to serve 150 hours of community service.  Police said the father of two stole 160 pairs of panties and various sex toys from homes on the island of St. Mary’s off the coast of England’s southwestern tip.  Stashes of women’s underwear and sex toys were found in the house that he once shared with his estranged wife when her new boyfriend pried apart floorboards looking for water pipes.  Underwear continued to turn up around the house and in the garden shed over the next few months.

 

 Judge Paul Darlow said Stephan had broken the long-standing trust unique to small communities such as St. Mary’s, where crime is uncommon.  Defense attorney Llewellyn Sellick said Stephan felt "deeply ashamed" of what he had done.

I have to admit… I would be pretty upset if I was missing my underwear and sex toys.  I mean, my panties cost at least $7 each… trust me, that really ads up!

With regards to the sex toys, it’s a shame to lose them… there are so many people out there who feel shy and helpless when making such purchases.  Besides, how hard must it be to find good quality sex shops in the remote Isles of Scilly? 

I’m so fortunate to live in the urban sex centre of Montreal.  I actually enjoy shopping at sex shops… I feel mostly aroused.  There is no shopping more enjoyable than shopping for lingerie and sex toys… I feel like I need to flaunt my bags after making such purchases.  Unfortunately, most sex shops package your items in unmarked bags.  Darn taboos.

For years we’ve all made jokes about the title of the film Saving Private Ryan. In fact, on the day Brian Griffin on the Family Guy won a Woodie, so did Shaving Ryan’s Privates…

Last week it was revealed that a sex tape of Tom Sizemore, star of Saving Private Ryan, is now on sale online at XXXTom.com.  The tape was purchased by XPays, the same company who distributed Paris Hilton’s infamous tape and it is suggested that Sizemore will be getting some of the proceeds even though he is currently serving time in rehab.

Now, truth be told, I have never actually seen Saving Private Ryan… so when I was exhausting all resources to write this entry, I had a look at Sizemore’s filmography on IMDB.  It turns out that Sizemore has seven films coming out in 2005 and two more lined up for 2006.  Could his porn release have anything to do with his desire to be famous through infamous acts?  It worked for Ms. Hilton.  Hilton, like Sizemore, was known before her sex tape was released, but it wasn’t until after the release that her popularity escalated to mythic proportions.  

Or, better yet, perhaps XPays is becoming a new style of casting agent… one that creates a buzz and sets greater careers for rich young party girls and attention-starved forty-something actors.  Whatever the score, I can honestly tell you that I won’t bother tuning in… I just don’t care whether or not Sizemore has a priapism.