Archive for July, 2005

Come on baby, Strippin’ Safari…

Friday, July 15th, 2005

I haven’t written much about my strip dancing for the past few weeks as my classes went on hiatus, but now I’m back on track to becoming the best stripper on this side o’ Texas. Last Thursday we started learning new moves and it looks like we’ll be focusing more on pole dancing and floor-work this semester than last semester’s lap dancing.

The moves I’d really love to learn are lasso moves like Jessica Alba in Sin City, snake charming moves like Salma Hayek in From Dusk to Dawn and fan dances performed by Natalie Wood in Gypsy.

[On a side note: Speaking of Gypsy… it seems that Tim Burton will be casting Johnny Depp in an upcoming film about the famous burlesque dancer Gypsy Rose Lee. And, if Johnny Depp wasn’t already blessed with enough unbelievably awesome roles… he is also leading the race to play Hugh Hefner in an upcoming film depicting the life of the Playboy founder.]

Next week, Zod and I will be going to LA. Although there will be a visit to Universal Studios, a sci-fi museum (?), Newport beach and Surf City USA… I wish our trip to be dubbed a ‘stripfari’.

Thanks to an excellent online strip club database called Stripper Web, I have found two candidates for live strip and XXX shows in LA: the Spearmint Rhino and the Blue Zebra. Both clubs have amateur nights, but unfortunately the classier of the two, the Spearmint Rhino, will not have any amateur nights scheduled while we’re visiting at the end of July. The Blue Zebra, however, has amateur nights every Friday and has live XXX shows scheduled on that same night starring porn star Teri Weigle. [Unfortunately, Ms. Weigle is a little too MILF for my own personal taste.]

If you or anyone you know has any good ideas on where to go for some good quality LA sex tourism, please leave me some helpful comments. We’re open to anything from joining in at Porn Star Karaoke to being invited to the Playboy Mansion! I will try and blog about our erotic adventures either in sunny LA or once we have returned to our igloos in Montreal.

I’m a… slave… for you

Thursday, July 14th, 2005

The other day I posted about XXX Church’s claim that “Jesus loves Porn Stars”. Today I found an article on The Conservative Voice that blames Human Slavery on Pornography. So, how does the baby Jesus really feel about pornography?

Just like those poor people who suffer from having horribly controlling gambling ‘diseases’, the author describes pornography as an “on-site-sex-abuse manual” that leads the curious towards addiction and abuse. Apparently:


The greedy purveyors of pornography are creating more and more sex addicts whose depraved desires ultimately result in carnal crimes against women and children. Their insatiable demands stimulate amoral slave-traders to increase the supply of helpless victims. The sinful cycle of fleshly lust and greed feeds upon itself and grows.

Interesting. That is like saying that smoking a cigarette will lead a person to become a Colombian Drug Lord… and well, how could the baby Jesus ever approve of a person like that?

If anything, there should be more porn directed towards women. I often find that I am more obsessed with renting porn, going to strip clubs and making homemade films than my darling Zod. If I could have it my way, I would rent two porn flicks per week, go to a strip club once every two weeks and porncast a full length homemade film once a month.

No matter how ‘Mary Carey’ flakey a female porn star may be, women are still the true bosses of pornography. The only reason Ron Jeremy is a household name is because he is envied by heterosexual males everywhere. Women are the real moneymakers of porn since they are more difficult to please than males. In the 1981 NFB documentary entitled Not a Love Story, they said that it is quite strenuous to be a male porn star in the business since you have the added pressure of ‘keeping it up’ and cuming on cue. Unlike women, men cannot fake it.

Granted, there are many women being used and abused by men in the sex industry, but that is mostly thanks to a lack of rights for people involved in the trade. Perhaps if the sex industry in North America was more like old town in Sin City we wouldn’t have so many problems with crimes against women.

Yesterday I found an interesting story about the first enforcement of the 2003 Prostitution Reform Act in New Zealand. Apparently, a man was fined for “risking a prostitute’s life by deliberately taking off his condom” without her knowledge. As a result, the prostitute went through months of grueling tests and eventually the man was fined a total of $530 including court costs.

So, at first I thought this seems to be a great law to prevent the spread of disease and to protect sex workers, but once I saw that the perpetrator only had to pay $530 for his crime, I started re-thinking the whole thing. If this law were broken in the US, the cost would be much greater… unfortunately, the conservative right of America would never allow for any legislation of the sex industry for it would be against the holy text of the bible.

Who is really to blame for the international trafficking of sex slaves, then? And, does baby Jesus really like these porn stars, or is it just propaganda?

I blame those who continually deny rights to sex industry employees … the government and conservative right-wing interest groups. The author believes that everyone involved in the porn industry should be severely punished for ‘contributing’ to human slavery, whether it be women or children, but I believe that we cannot simply blame one thing for the problem.

What the author neglects to discuss in his article is that the Catholic Church and other religious institutions have contributed heavily to the sexual oppression of women and children. Not a day goes by that I don’t surf Google News and find articles upon articles about priests and pastors who have been caught molesting children or possessing child porn. There should be no tolerance for such acts… on sacred ground or not, these people should be imprisoned for their own blatant contribution to sexual slavery.

I believe that this article is designed so that The Conservative Voice can assign and pass the blame of sexual slavery onto someone else. The Theo-Cons are the real problem why the sex trade has not had a chance to progress into a fully legal and well-organized modern system. It is important for the government to develop stronger policies against sex crimes and international human trafficking, not to pass empty unfounded blame and punishment onto the porn industry itself.

She’s a fire-vixen!

Thursday, July 14th, 2005

Wow… I had no idea that Kelly Monaco posed for Playboy and was actually Playmate of the month back in 1997… that’s so cool! Check the photos out at your own risk, though, the style from 1997 is quite outdated.

Link (article): http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/cl-et-monaco12jul12,0,2111163.story

Link (Playboy - Adults only): http://pb.gallerygenerator.com/14/?ID=771372

Kneel before the Queen of Karaoke!!!

Tuesday, July 12th, 2005

I was checking out SugarBank yesterday and saw an interesting article on How to Date a Porn Star in Eleven Easy Steps. I browsed through it quickly at first and didn’t find the most interesting part until my darling Zod pointed it out to me this morning when I got out of the shower.

What he found was the following:

LA natives have a chance to hang with performers each week at ‘Porn Star Karaoke’ which takes place at 9 p.m. each week at Sardos, 259 North Pass Avenue in Burbank, just off the 134 freeway. There’s always a good selection of people, and it’s open to the public. Take a cute and outgoing girl with you. A lot of women in the business are bisexual and they’ll notice her before they notice you. It’s an easy way to an introduction and will make you look less like a desperate fanboy loser customer.

This is great!!! What many of you may not already know is that I’m a huge fan of karaoke. I love to step on stage and wow the audience with my incredible Axl Rose vocal impression, sexy skimpy outfit, air guitar on my knees and crazy headbanging. I love the rush that it gives me when I step off the stage and get high fives from the audience while guys eyeball me up and down from afar in desire and awe. There is nothing I love more than the attention I get from the karaoke stage.

So… as long as Zod and I can find out what night this Porn Star Karaoke is on, we will certainly be going. Methinks we’re going to have a wicked time in LA.

HOW does Jesus love them?

Monday, July 11th, 2005

There is nothing I hate more when I search for topics on Google News than finding yet another anoying article on XXX Church.

XXX Church is a movement that tries to stop people from watching porn and tries to influence people to follow Jesus instead. They sell t-shirts that read “Jesus loves Porn Stars” and hold seminars all over America to influence people to stay away from porn and fight porn “addiction”.

Basically, all XXX Church does is uses propaganda to sell their anti-porn cause. Sure… Jesus LOVES porn stars, but these people mean in a forgiving/accepting kind of way (not a ‘Jesus loves to watch porn and jack off’ kind of way).

These fundies who think that it’s good to be celibate until marriage aren’t as crazy as the ancient Japanese samurai warriors, though, they were really nutso when it came to sex. However, the good thing about the samurai was that they actually minded their own business and believed in celibacy in their own private lives instead of the militant born-agains in our current society who dictate what our children can and cannot learn in sex education at school.

Link (although I suggest you avoid these idiots): http://www.xxxchurch.com