MsKitka.com

So last night was my first Tuesday night stripping class (I’m now going two nights a week). The good thing about the class was that the people were really friendly and young and we chatted and had a good time. The bad thing about the class was that I didn’t really like the dancing… instead of slow, sensual lap dancing or stage dancing, we were taught fast paced dance steps that reminded me of a cross between the macarena and line dancing… but on speed. Apparently, there was a student who dropped out of the class last week because she said that the class did not make her sweat enough (which is why the instructor increased the speed and workout). Gees… I like to think of this class as tapping into your inner sexual predator than doing aerobic exercise. Thanks Ms. Drop-out… you suck!

After the class, one of the girls was talking about auditioning for the advanced class. The advanced class is called “in training” and apparently you’d get to go to the head instructor’s home and practice on her pole. Well, all I know is that I want to get myself into that advanced class and go on a field trip, either to her pole at home or to amateur night! If any of you guys know where there IS an amateur night, please let me know… I’m sure my Zod would love to take me there sometime.

Two news articles jumped out at me today…

1- From the article ‘Self-made porn king no hero in “sexy” Sweden‘:

Sweden’s armed forces recently banned staff from booking into hotels offering porn television channels, a rule that will eventually apply to most civil servants, a result of a campaign by the National Organisation for Women’s Shelters in Sweden.

Now, that is just horribly unfair… come on… even women, such as myself, love to watch porn! I would be really pissed off if some millitant feminists went to that much trouble to ban porn from my eyes. I need my porn!

2- From the article ‘Rabbi OKs Viagra during Passover‘:

While contraceptive pills are “out” for Benedict XVI, the sex pill is apparently “in” for Rabbi Mordechai Eliahu, who has just lifted the ban on men swallowing the popular anti-impotency pill, Viagra, during the current Passover High Holiday with its strict dietary laws.

Being a Catholic sucks cock… anyone feel like joining me in converting to Judaism? Naw, forget it, I’m happy the way I am… worshipping the dark lord every Sinday.

Okay… so I just published something called “Poor Kitty” and I discovered that I had to change two words before I was able to publish it… The reason? Certain words are prohibited by MSN. Damn you Bill Gates! I wanted to call it “Poor Pu$$ycat” and I also wanted to use the f-word in the blog… but instead I had to change it to its Battlestar Galactica equivalent (ie. fracking). GODDAMN FRACKING MSN PU$$IES!!!

Also… late last night when I was watching the Molly Ringwald classic Sixteen Candles on YTV I noticed that there was a lot of words blanked out or re-edited with voiceovers… and I mean A LOT! They blanked out ANY suggestions to sex even if they weren’t swearing… what a cop out. For example, instead of “bite me!”, there was a voiceover saying “hug me!”.

I mean, first they make our cartoons less violent… and NOW they take discussions about sex completely out of our films? The weird thing is that while the media is more severely editing films and cartoons, teenagers are getting more and more sexually active! What’s that all about? Perhaps it’s because teenagers have to resort to watching more adult programs to get their entertainment.

If you haven’t noticed how the world of film has changed in the past 20 years from open to close-minded… you should go and rent the film Heathers RIGHT NOW! There is no way that any company would put out a film like that one in today’s Christian right wing Hollywood… Actually, I bet an American filmaker would have to get funding from a liberal Canadian company in order to release a film like that in today’s America (just like Michael Moore and his Farenheit 9/11).

From the Reuters news article entitled ‘Woman Breastfeeds Tiger Cubs‘:

YANGON (Reuters) - Hla Htay has three hungry infants to feed these days — a seven-month old baby boy and two Bengal tiger cubs.

Three times a day, the Myanmar housewife goes to the Yangon Zoo where she breastfeeds the hungry black-striped, orange-brown cubs rejected by their natural mother.

“The cubs are just like my babies,” Hla Htay told Fuji TV as one of the baby big cats suckled her breast.

“It’s not scary at all,” she said of the 45-minute feeds. “I needed to do something for the cubs because I felt really sorry for them.”

Umm… ouch! 45-minute feedings? This woman’s breasts must look like deflated balloons after breastfeeding! I love big cats, but come on… I don’t LOVE big cats.

Can you even imagine doing this on a day to day basis? This beastiality romance tale can easily turn into a hardcore horror film.

Yes gentlemen… today was my second stripping class and, yes, it still comes ever so naturally. Today was an especially exciting class as it was a class to teach lapdancing… let me say that again… yes, I just came home from my lapdancing class.

The best thing about the class is that I can watch myself dance in the mirror as I am riding my chair… I love not only to move my hips around imagining my Zod sitting in front of me, but I also love to see the way my hips are moving and envision the twin lesbian fantasy scenarios in my mind. No, I’m not opposed to cloning… especially if it would mean cloning my own sexy ass. Zod almighty! I really should write porn…

Anyways, Zod was pleased to hear that I did lapdancing today… but I still have yet to put on a show for him. Perhaps next week. The more moves I learn, the longer his private dance will be.